Choosing to Be Different? (More from the Bronies)

For the past couple of days I have been responding to the comments that I received from my previous post, Loving What You Love.  In doing so, I learned a lot more about the Bronies I wrote about.  People shared their thanks, links to videos, and valuable insights that challenged me.  Through engaging the Bronies, Brony parents, and even a few Brony detractors, I came to see how the fandom culture is much like any other culture that we are aware of.  They have their own music (see below), art, language and of course mythologies and values system.  And like any minority within a larger culture, they have those within the larger culture who tend to not be capable of appreciating what they offer.

For over a decade now I have been been consciously dedicated to mastering the ability to articulate the language of difference. It was when I was working at the NSA, that I first came across the Office of Diversity and Inclusion.  I was shocked that such an office existed. I began spending my breaks in the office reading magazines and books on the theories of the benefits of capitalizing on a diverse workforce.  The theories suggested that a more diverse workforce makes the workplace better, that there was more innovation, yadda yadda, yadda.  I totally bought into it.  This awareness seemed like an answer to my prayers.  After so many years of struggling to communicate cross-culturally, I was thrilled to know that there was actually a discipline that took this societal need seriously.  I was so excited that I enrolled in a Diversity training program and even tried to get a temporary transfer into the Office of Diversity with the hope that I could make a career change that would allow me to focus on helping people learn to appreciate difference.  When I finally got into recruiting several years ago I even worked on “Diversity Projects” with clients.  It was then that I discovered that for many people “Diversity and Inclusion” are just buzz words.

Maybe I am a little gungho when it comes to that idea, but what I found was that there are few people who can embrace difference.  Even when the difference or the change, is in their best interest or in the best interest of the planet, most people can’t do it because they are too afraid–we are too afraid.  I’ve watched people who cry inclusion be just as exclusive as anyone.  I know people who know what is like to be oppressed jump in line to oppress others.  And I’ve seen bleeding heart liberals marginalize the very people they say they stand up for. Now am I saying that truly open minded people have to accept everything indiscriminately?  No.  Of course not.  Am I saying that everyone should like each other and go around skipping and holding hands.  No. But what I am saying is that when we are shut down by fear then we don’t even have the chance to embrace anything–not even a better life or a better world.  One of the Bronies shared with me a secret to overcoming that fear.  He said that to embrace being different, all you have to is just find something that you value more than you value your own security.  I think that is awesome and goes perfectly with something the author of the book, The Four Agreements, don Miguel Ruiz said.  He teaches that “Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive – the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”

I think the thing I respect the most about the Bronies is that they are choosing to be different.  One of the commenters on the last post wrote, “Alot of my friends have asked me, why have I chosen to be a Brony? Why would I want to open myself up to the possible ridicule that comes with being apart of this fandom.” I think the answer is above.  She found something she valued more than her security and is willing to be alive and express what she really is.  How many of us wish we could do that in some other area of our lives, but are too afraid to step up.  I’m raising my hand.  But not for long.  I am not saying all of this because I am not afraid, but rather because in light of seeing others be unafraid, I realize that I have let myself become afraid.  After being different for so long, I got tired and started feeling like it would be easier to try fitting in.  But the truth is that it is great to be different.  We all are anyway.  When we choose to be different ultimately we are just making the choice to be who we are.  And as the Bronies have shown me, we give others the opportunity to be who they are as well.

I recommend really listening to the song below.  The lyrics are spot on and I think that if we look deep enough, we will find that we all wish we had the strength to live into the awareness the song calls up.

Loving What You Love (Lessons from the Bronies)

As I mentioned in the above video, I learned a thing or two from seeing adults, who were not accompanying children, at the showing of the My Little Pony: Equestria Girls movie at one of our local theaters.  When I saw how disappointed some of the people were when the tickets were sold out, I was perplexed at first.  I thought, “Isn’t this a kid’s show.  Doesn’t passage require a child? Why are these people on the verge of tears and some actually crying about not seeing this movie.”   Being a curious person when it comes to the phenomena of human relatibility, I wondered what drew these adults to MLP.  As we sat in the theater and watched the movie,  I understood a little more about this incredibly diverse subculture.

The older I get, the more I understand how hard it can be to be a human sometimes.  When I was child I was bullied a lot for being different.  Because I was of mixed heritage, short, and had an unusually long and difficult to pronounce name for my region of the country, I stood out.  I was also into books, which deemed me a nerd.  To top it all off I was into Jesus.  Add to that the dress clothes and briefcase I had as public school attire, and my very presence screamed, “Hey bullies punch me.” So I know what it is like to be different and to feel like no one can relate to you.  Sometimes I got sad, but for the most part I decided that it was awesome that I was who I was and I loved what I loved and that I didn’t need the group’s approval.  I almost preferred being alone.  Then one day some bullies were picking on one of my few friends–a kid named Ching.  Ching was from China and had lost a leg due to cancer.  Seeing them pick on him really pissed me off and I actually went a little nuts on a few kids and tried to hit them with one of Ching’s crutches.  It wasn’t my best day. But, after that incident, Ching and I got really cool.  It didn’t matter that he didn’t really speak English.  Besides both of us getting joked, we had one other thing in common–Transformers.  When we hung out Transformers were the thing that really united us.  It didn’t matter that we were different on the surface or that I had no clue what he was saying, we were just really cool together.  We bonded over a cartoon and a toy and it was across that bridge that we learned more about each other.  We related over what we love.

My Little Brony

Now mind it we were kids, but really when it comes down to it, what is the difference?  In this world of division where we find so many reasons not to relate to each other, I think it is worth honoring anything that brings people together–even if it is a cartoon that was intended for little girls.  These adult MLP fans–Bronies, as they are called–have found something that speaks to them and connects them to others.  I can’t hate on that.  I have to love it.  Besides, when you sit down and watch the show, you find that what they teach about friendship is actually pretty awesome.  I wish some of the kids in my neighborhood watched My Little Pony. And, I bet a lot of these Bronies feel the same way. I imagine that deep in these people’s hearts they know what friendship is supposed to be and then they see how people tend to treat each other in the world and they know that a kid’s cartoon is closer to the reality of what friendship can be than what most of us experience in our daily lives.

Everyday that I go through life I look for reasons to love when the world gives more attention to hating.  I look for unity when so many of us focus on separation.  I try to pour myself out even when fear says hold myself back.  I’m not going to lie, as much as I tried to stay open to people, I know that a few years ago I may have assumed that something was off with the Bronies.  But now I am thinking that there is nothing off about people looking for something that allows them to relate to others and express themselves.  What’s off is when we get convinced that there’s no place for us in this world. I mean, deep down isn’t that what we are all looking for–somewhere we belong and a place where we can love what we love?

To  be continued in my follow up post, Choosing to Be Different (More from the Bronies)

Check out the trailer for the documentary Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Fans of My Little Pony